Tall, Dark, and Mysterious

8/31/2005

What fucking idiocy

File under: Those Who Can't, I Read The News Today, Oh Boy. Posted by Moebius Stripper at 3:07 pm.

How much swearing in the classroom is too fucking much? More than five derivatives of the word “fuck” per lesson, according to a British secondary school:

A secondary school is to allow pupils to swear at teachers - as long as they don’t do so more than five times in a lesson. A running tally of how many times the f-word has been used will be kept on the board. If a class goes over the limit, they will be ’spoken’ to at the end of the lesson.

“Here ya go, you insolent kids: some arbitrary limits. Now don’t go testing them! And yeah, we’ll address the ‘How many times in one class can you call your teacher a bitch’ issue when it comes up.” Gee, I can’t imagine that one backfiring.

As always, the devil is in the details - the relevant ones in this case being this unfortunate choice of words from the assistant headmaster:

Within each lesson the teacher will initially tolerate (although not condone) the use of the f-word (or derivatives) five times…

Say, what are they teaching in English classes these days? Elements of language? Types of speech? Oh…the use-mention distinction, maybe? Probably not, but it’s not hard to imagine some precocious, potty-mouthed little fucker doing a little bit of reading outside of class if it enables him to expose the assistant headmaster’s subpar knowledge of his native language. (At Weavers School in Wellingborough, Northamptonshire, no less. Seriously, does that not sound like the name of a place where your English would be constantly corrected for deviating even marginally from the Queen’s?) For example: this post here? Only uses derivatives of the word “fuck” three four times. Even if you count the previous sentence, and this current one, which contains a wholly unnecessary mention of the word “fuck”.

What do my readers think? And please, keep it (relatively) fucking clean, or you’ll be spoken to.

(Link from Erin O’Connor and Joanne Jacobs)