Tall, Dark, and Mysterious

5/7/2005

Hot electoral reform

File under: 1000 Words, Character Writ Large, Home And Native Land, I Read The News Today, Oh Boy. Posted by Moebius Stripper at 1:51 pm.

While I was on the plane the other day, the Vancouver Sun left a message on my phone. They’d like to print my letter to the editor about their inept coverage of the referendum on electoral reform, and could I please confirm authorship and provide a photo? I’m not about to turn down an editorial board’s offer to expose their entire readership to my snark, so I phoned back and left a message, at around 5:30 Vancouver time, on May 4: yes, I said, I’d written the letter; but I didn’t have a photo for them.

My letter did not run on May 5. Nor did it run on May 6. Today’s issue ran several STV-related letters, and mine was not among them. (Maybe they print extra letters in the paper copy? I’m out of town, so I haven’t checked.) I concluded that the photo was the dealbreaker, which struck me as odd, until I remembered that one of the reasons British Columbians don’t know much about the single transferable vote is that voting theory isn’t a very sexy topic.

Which topics are sexy enough for news coverage? Let’s check the front page of Thursday’s issue of the Ottawa Citizen to find out:

Prostate cancer is sexy!

Leaving politics to care for one’s sick wife isn’t so sexy, but it’s important enough to be in the paper that serves the MP’s constituency -

However, golf is sexy!

I figure I could make my way onto the letters page with my dull electoral reform/media dysfunction letter if I submit an appropriate self-portrait. Some ideas:

  • Moebius Stripper posing in an extravagantly padded bra and miniskirt
  • Moebius Stripper provocatively licking her referendum ballot
  • Moebius Stripper winking and holding a package of condoms, along with a sign reading “STV’s…not STD’s!”

Though even those, I reckon, couldn’t compete with Carmen Electra and Cindy Crawford. Pamela Anderson, however, is a native British Columbian; perhaps we could get her behind the cause. (Lately she’s been speaking out against KFC’s treatment of chickens; some readers of the National Post wrote in about this, which gave the editors an excuse to print a huge photo of Pamela Anderson on the letters page.)

In related news: my mail-in voting package arrived in the mail the other day. It’s like a grab-bag of goodies: the package contains a pamphlet outlining the procedure for voting; the two ballots (one for the election, one for the referendum); a certification envelope; a plain secrecy envelope; and a SASE. Voting requires me to put the ballots inside the secrecy envelope inside the certification envelope inside the SASE, which delights me more than it ought to. Three envelopes! Who knew democracy could be so much fun?