1) Have courage! No matter what you decide to do, the more likely is that you’re wrong.
2) An optimist is a guy who does not have much experience.
3) What can you expect from a day that starts with getting up?
4) No matter what you ask for in a restaurant what others ask will always be better.
5) If you have money, you haven´t got time, if you have time you need money.
6) Life is something that happens to you while you are making other plans.
7) The fact that you’re paranoid does not mean that they’re not looking for you.
After hearing my psychoanalyst told me that maybe life is not for me.
9) The only normal people are the ones you do not know well.
10) The woman cries before the wedding, and the man after the wedding.
11) When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, is because there is a reason.
12) Vote for the candidate who promises less. So you will be less disappointed.
13) As a child, I was told that anybody could become president, now I’m starting to believe it.
14) Do not take life so seriously … is not permanent.
15) I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate vegetals!
16) The probability that the traffic lights give us red light is directly proportional to the trouble we carry.
17) The beauty of a woman is inversely proportional to your intellect.
18) When finally we did it, it does not matter.
19) It is better not to know how sausages or law are made.
20) Love: temporary insanity cured by marriage.